Face Your Fear

Let’s face it, we are all afraid of something.

Many of us share the same fear and that is of dying.

For others, it’s a fear of becoming ill, losing a child, not finding a life partner, being broke and a very common fear is that of being rejected.

According to Susan Jeffers in her life-changing book ‘Feel the fear and do it anyway” she refers to the afore-mentioned fears as being surface fears. She goes on to share that the BIG fear we are feeling is the one where we feel we cannot handle whatever life throws at us.

If you knew you could cope with the curve balls, the upsets and let-downs, would you be afraid?

Sadly many of us have grown up lacking in confidence in our abilities to resolve life’s challenges. Much of this is down to the programming in our childhood brain, where we were set up to be afraid of everything.

This is not to point fingers at our parents or blame anyone, it is simply a reminder to notice the subliminal messages in the chatterbox within the mind that stops us from taking risks, trying new things and following through on our desires.

Many parents, myself included have said things such as ‘be careful’ too many times. This constant command to our children is causing them to potentially falter and hesitate and ultimately self-doubt.

While I’m not suggesting we encourage our children to risk their lives, I would like to convey a message that has influenced me enormously in my own parenting.

It was during a class with Deepak Chopra that he revealed he told his children every morning, when they were small to embrace the day ahead by saying – “May today be as uncertain as yesterday.”

I personally love this message. It immediately incites FREEDOM when truly absorbed. It’s underpinning message is one where we are reminded that we have all we need within and we each have the power to generate happiness, our ultimate goal.

It offers us the the innate wisdom of embracing the unknown, being spontaneous and becoming curious about life.

Recently, I faced a fear of my own, while embracing the unknown.

I have been uncomfortable with heights for many years, making me feel dizzy and nauseous. During my honeymoon in Las Vegas, we went to the Grand Canyon and I spent most of it lying on my belly looking down as I couldn’t do it,  in an upright position.

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However, It was the impulse to raise money for charity that made me sign up to the fundraiser and abseil several hundred feet to the ground. The event took place in Croke Park, Dublin and was all the more special as my husband and son were there.

As usual, I’m always trying to find ways to demonstrate positivity and strength to my son, who in the past has had to hold my hand, as I crawled across the Tower of London’s glass floor. My bigger purpose in life is to show my son that anything is possible.

I realise this is mild compared to the many accomplishments others have achieved but for me it was about conquering something that has bothered me at different times in my life.

It’s all to say, that you can overcome your fears too. Going back to the precursor about doing things you fear –  knowing if you could cope, would you be afraid?

In my case, I worked completely on my mindset. I told myself when I thought about the event, that I was excited instead of nervous. This set me up for success. Coupled with the skilled team on the day, a past fear was overcome relatively easily.

I would like to conclude this email by encouraging you to look at your thoughts about why you are afraid to pursue or do something in your own life and ask yourself – is this the real reason, is this accurate, is this true?  In most cases, the answer will be a resounding NO.

You can train your brain to think differently, thus influencing the outcome.

You can cope, you can handle it.

You have done so before but with some daily mindset reminders that you are capable and strong, resilient and powerful you can overcome the obstacles, follow through on your goals and manage the results with more awareness.

You are braver than you currently feel.

Sinead Carroll